Saturday, September 14, 2013

Someday I'm going to murder the bugler

Several months ago I changed my telephone listing from unlisted to listed.  Bad idea. Since then I have received an unrelenting onslaught of telemarketing calls - mostly from construction companies wanting to remodel my home.  They are annoying, but especially because they are so ridiculously phony.

"Good morning, my name is **%%# - how are you today?  How's your day going?"
or "I hope your day is going well."

When I reply "what do you want?" or "Who is this?"  There is a pause as though the caller were offended by my direct approach.

I grew up during the Second World War.  A song whose lyrics have stayed in my memory was written during the First World War in tribute to the lowly doughboy - "Oh, how I hate to get up in the morning. Oh, how I'd love to remain in bed.  'You've got to get up, you've got to get out of bed.' Someday I'm going to murder the bugler. Someday you're going to find him dead.  I'll amputate his reveille, and step upon it heavily, and spend the rest of my days in bed."

I don't remember the exact wording, but the idea is the same.  I would like to reach across the telephone wires and strangle the caller - and spend the rest of my days answering the telephone confidently.  Yes, I do have Caller ID, but the clever callers are identified as Private Caller, and so are a few of my friends.  I have the choice - to answer, or not to answer -

I am registered on the Government's Do Not Call List -  not much help nowadays.

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